Battle of the bulge

I am horizontally challenged. Period.

All the body shapes -apple ,pear, cone, hour glass(ofcourse not) do not apply to me. I am stretched in both directions from cheeks to calf. But the irony is I have been on a diet since I have had a memory. No I am exagerating but you can assume I have been on a diet since a long long time. You name it I have done it - cabbage soup diet, GM diet, No carb diet, low sodium diet, high protein diet, potato only diet.

What then goes wrong? Some loose weight to get healthier, some to look thin, some to get into their old pair of jeans but I try to shed the kilos to go on a binge and in the process gain the lost weight! When all else failed, I brazen facedly flaunted what I had - strutting my spare tyre. I concluded, from the looks around, I didn't have a figure to die for.

In order to justify my weight I have devised some brilliant excuses - I am a mom(moms are allowed the luxury of a paunch), slow metabolism(deteriorates with age), cold country ( have you noticed butter melting in hot conditions but turning rock solid in the freezer), busy life and no time to exercise and ofcourse genes!!!

I know I need more than prayers to shrink my size. Beleive me, I am trying but the post dinner desert glues itself to my waist, for no fault of mine :D

The true meaning

Ever wondered why people talk just for the sake of talking? I have and am still wondering.
Like when someone asks "does your daughter go to a school?", I barely stop myself from retorting "No I have forced her into child labour". When aqcuaintences who havent bothered to call on you, mistakenly bump into you, suddenly very concerned, accuse you of hibernating "where have you been","well, to London to visit the queen". It's funny and you need to brush off (in your mind!)any verdict passed about you being callous.

I am (ONLY)socially, too good to mouth my inner feelings so all I do is acquiesce and marvel at the foolhardiness with which some people leave you speechless with their act(literally)!